Welcome to my blog space
It would be my great honor to share my experience in English writing here. In my case, I have learned English for almost ten years. Since I had learned English in a typical Chinese way, I did not have a good master in organizing words in an appropriate way to express myself. To some extent, passing the English exam was the only purpose for me to learn English in the past. I only wrote English compositions in tests and my compositions were rigid. While after the superior English writing course in this semester, the situation has changed. I get accustomed to express my mind in English. The most important thing is that I become interested in English writing. It is a kind of fresh experience which is quite fascinated to me.
My teacher, Mr. Corio, has taught me something which is essential in English writing. During the course, I have tried to write English compositions without worrying about whether it would get a poor mark.. I have learnt to grab the key factors in appreciating an English composition, such as characters, environment and tone of authors. A comprehensive comment on other’s works should be based on the understanding of the author’s mind. My attitude on English writing has been changed after I have written my first essay. Composing a essay is a charming task which needs care, patience and hard work. After finishing the essay, I have gained a sense of achievement in return. Composing an English composition is not a task which aims at getting a high score in test anymore, but a course to express myself, an opportunity to tell readers what I think. Mr. Corio has also taught me to pay more attention to small mistakes in my articles and to modify my article in a period of time to make it better.
My first work in my writing portfolio involves in the quality of life. It is also my first attempt to compose a complete essay which includes three drafts. In The Necklace by Guy de Manpassant, the author depicts a person who experiences several events and changes a lot. In the course to compose an essay, I met a bottleneck in finding a strong statement to discuss the thesis which I was interested in. After I communicated with Mr. Corio for several times, I got the proper statement. A strong thesis statement requires much evidence to support. In my first draft, I did not identify the source of the quotation. In the three drafts, I have discussed the quality of life sincerely. I have also corrected a lot of small mistakes and removed personal pronouns to make the article more convincing under the instruction of Mr. Corio. The course in finishing the essay has impressed me a lot and stimulates my interest in English writing more or less.
The second work is the result of final-timed writing composition. In Dead Men’s Path by Chinua Achebe, the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” Mr. Corio requires me to explain the meaning of the sentence and discuss what the saying has revealed about the priest. This is the third time for me to compose a timed-writing composition. Therefore, I am quite confident to finish it. In the course to finish the article, I met difficulty to express the meaning of the saying. It is not an easy question to answer, while I think I did it well after I had taken all the exercises of the writing course in the semester. I become familiar with the structure of the composition and I know how to organize words to express my mind properly. I do not make many grammatical errors in the article.
My final paper deals with several eternal topics, belief, wisdom and love. In The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen by Bruno Lessing, the author writes a story which can show the value and importance of these precious virtues. Making comment on other’s work is totally unfamiliar to me at first. Mr. Corio made me realize the importance of understanding the mind and tone of the author before making any comment. I have taken advantage of quotation to make my composition more persuasive with the help of teacher first time. And I have found some small grammatical errors after I have taken the courses for a period of time.
That is the introduction of all the works appeared in my portfolio. These articles reveal the progress I have made in the semester and I also want to show my gratitude to Mr. Corio for his help in my English writing. It is my pleasure to share my experience in English writing with you and I would be very glad to know if you have ever learned anything in my portfolio.
Yours faithfully, Jiamin Bao 0570057
Jiamin Bao
June 6, 2007
Draft three
The Quality of Life
The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant has given me a deep impression by the images which have been depicted vividly in the story. The story creates a typical character called Mathilde who lives in her own luxurious dream to reveal factors which lead to a happy life. She loses the necklace which had been borrowed from her friend to be shining at the ball and then she returns another necklace to her friend at the cost of ten years’ hard work, only to find that the lost one was a paste. It may be quite easy to draw the conclusion that Mathilde is a tragic character in the story while a deeper inspection of the story makes me put forward the question that is Mme. Loisel’s life better or worse as a result of losing the necklace?
First of all, the first scene of the story impresses me a lot. Mathilde feels despondent about her life. She lives in the world of her illusion which can be easily found between the lines. “She suffered ceaselessly, feeling herself born for all the delicacies”(38). All the plain things make her feel annoyed and unsatisfied. What she wants is “the silent antechambers hung with Oriental tapestry”(39). The conflict between the reality and her illusion make her extremely depressed. She does not work to achieve any value to the society and she does not enjoy her life, either. Being addicted to her own brilliant dream is her only interest. Therefore, I should say that her living state is negative and horrible because of her luxurious dream.
There is no doubt totally that Mathilde has a hard life which is unimaginable to her in the past to repay the paste with the price of the true necklace. She becomes a woman of impoverished and trivial households “with frowsy hair, skirts askew”(44) The moment the God deprives a person some thing, the God will give him/her some other thing in return. There is no doubt that Mathilde has suffered a lot during the hard period. Meanwhile, I believe she has gained so much which is more meaningful than appearance. Thus, in the last scene of the story, she can talk to her friend without sense of guilt. She can smile to her pretty friend with “a joy which was proud and naïve”(44). She feels tranquil and proud because she knows the value of hard work which makes her keep her dignity. Furthermore, if Mathilde sees her friend who is still charming again, she will choose to hide if she has not experienced all these. Mathilde values decency very much before these which can be seen from her refusal to the party at first because the lack of jewel and her escaping at the end of the party to conceal her poverty. While after all these events, she does not value these superficial things anymore. She does not value appearance so much. Therefore, could she walk towards to her friend and talked to her friend positively. It is worthwhile to get these virtues at the cost of beauty. Above all, she feels “very glad”(44) after all the hard work. Only a substantial life can make people feel happy and own a life with high quality. Mathilde becomes a better person and owns a better life after all the experience.
Everyone has his/her own life. Some can enjoy their lives and achieve many valuable things while some may feel depressed about their lives. The qualities of lives vary from each other tremendously. The key is one’s attitude towards his/her life. Facing life directly is always the best policy to own a positive life. In the The Necklace, owing to being addicted to her colorful dream, there is no possibility for Mathilde to have a life of high quality without some stimulant. Then, the debt came which urged her to work. Her life became difficult but substantial. After ten years, we can see a new Mathilde who does not value appearance so much, does not dream all the time, does work to support the family and feels proud more or less. That is how it works. Facing the life directly or there would be too many difficulties which may become overwhelming in lives. It may be quite tempting and satisfactory to depict a picture (or a dream) in which we can get and achieve anything we desire. While we should always remember the fact that life will not change a bit no matter how fantastic our dreams are. The quality of Mathilde’s life has improved a lot after all these events because she has learnt to face the life no matter how rough it may be. This should also be the attitude of us towards the life. Therefore, can we make our lives full of shine and hope.A life with high quality is accessible as long as we hold the positive attitude towards life.
Guy de Maupassant. “The Necklace.” 1884. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and writing about Fiction. Ruth Spack. New York: St. Martin’s, 1994.6-8
Jiamin Bao
May 15, 2007
Draft two
The Quality of Life
The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant has given me a deep impression by the images which have been described vividly in the story. The story creates a typical character called Mathilde to reveal sth deeper. Mathilde who lived in her own luxurious dream lost the necklace which had been borrowed from her friend to be shining at the ball and then she returned another necklace to her friend at the cost of ten years’ hard work, only to find that the losing one was a paste. It may be quite easy to draw the conclusion that Mathilde is a tragic character in the story while a deeper inspection towards the story of mine makes me put forward the question that is Mme. Loisel’s life better or worse as a result of losing the necklace? I believe that there is more positive effect on her than negative effect after all these experience.
First of all, let us have a general view over the situation at the first scene of the story. The living condition of Mathilde is despondent to her. She lived in the world of her illusion which can be easily found between the lines. Such as ‘she was as unhappy as though she had really fallen from her proper station,…She suffered ceaselessly, feeling herself born for all the delicacies and all the luxuries…’ All the plain things make her feel annoyed and unsatisfied. What she wanted is ‘the silent antechambers hung with Oriental tapestry, lit by tall bronze candelabra…’. The conflict between the reality and her illusion made her extremely depressed. She did not work to achieve any value to the society and she did not enjoy her life, either. Being addicted to her own brilliant dream was her only interest. Thus, I should say that her living state is negative and horrible because of being addicted to her luxurious dream.
There is no doubt totally that Mathilde had a hard life which is unimaginable to her in the past to repay the paste with the price of the true necklace. ‘She had become the woman of impoverished households—strong and hard and rough. With frowsy hair, skirts askew,…washing the floor with great swishes of water.’ As the old saying goes, ‘No pains, no gains’ . There is not doubt that Mathilde had suffered a lot during the hard period. Meanwhile, I believe she had learned so much which is more meaningful than appearance. Thus, in the last scene of the story, could she talk to her friend without sense of guilty which is a key factor to possess happiness in people’s lives. ‘She smiled with a joy which was proud and naïve at once..’ She felt tranquil and proud because she knew the value of hard work which makes her keep her dignity. Furthermore, when Mathilde saw her friend who is still charming again, I am sure she would choose to hide if she had not experienced all these. Mathilde valued decency very much before these which can be seen from her refusal to the party at first because the lack of jewel and her escaping at the end of the party to conceal her poverty. While after all these events, she did not value these superficial things anymore. She did not value appearance so much. Thus, could she walk towards to her friends and talked to her positively. Although she may be extremely sad after knowing the fact. In my point of view, it is worthwhile to get virtues at the cost of beauty. Above all, she can feel ‘very glad after the ten years’ hard work’. Only a substantial life can make people feel happy and own a life with high quality.
Everyone has his/her own life. Some can enjoy their lives and achieve many valuable things while some may feel depressed about their lives. The qualities of lives vary from each other tremendously. The key is one’s attitude towards life. Facing life directly is always the best policy to own a positive life. In the The Necklace, because of being addicted to her colorful dream. There is no possibility for her to have a life with high quality without some stimulant. Then, the debt came which urged her to work. Her life became difficult but substantial. After ten years, we can see a new Mathilde who do not value appearance so much, do not dream all the time, do work to support the family and feel proud of herself more or less. That is how it works. Facing the life directly or there are too many difficulties which may become overwhelming in lives. It may be quite tempting and satisfactory to depict a picture(or a dream) in which we can get and achieve anything we desire. While we should always remember the fact that life will not change a bit no matter how fantastic our dreams are. I believe the quality of Mathilde’s life has improved a lot after all these events because she has learnt to face the life no matter how rough it may be. This should be the attitude of us towards the life. Thus can we make our lives full of shine and hope.
Hope everyone can enjoy his/her life. Life is a gift which should be cherished all the time.
Jiamin Bao
May 7, 2007
Draft one
The Quality of Life
The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant has given me a deep impression by the images which have been described vividly in the story. It may be quite easy to draw the conclusion that Mathilde is a tragic character in the story while a deeper inspection towards the story of mine makes me put forward the question that is Mme. Loisel’s life better or worse as a result of losing the necklace? I believe that there is more positive effect on her than negative effect after all these experience.
First of all, let us have a general view over the situation at the first scene of the story. The living condition of Mathilde is despondent to her. She lived in the world of her illusion which can be easily found between the lines. Such as ‘she was as unhappy as though she had really fallen from her proper station,…She suffered ceaselessly, feeling herself born for all the delicacies and all the luxuries…’ All the plain things make her feel annoyed and unsatisfied. What she wanted is ‘the silent antechambers hung with Oriental tapestry, lit by tall bronze candelabra…’. The conflict between the reality and her illusion made her extremely depressed. She did not work to achieve any value to the society and she did not enjoy her life, either. Being addicted to her own brilliant dream was her only interest. Thus, I should say that her living state is negative and horrible.
There is no doubt totally that Mathilde had a hard life which is unimaginable to her in the past to repay the paste with the price of the true necklace. ‘She had become the woman of impoverished households—strong and hard and rough. With frowsy hair, skirts askew,…washing the floor with great swishes of water.’ However, she could talk to her friend without sense of guilty which is a key factor to possess happiness in people’s lives. ‘She smiled with a joy which was proud and naïve at once..’ She felt tranquil and proud because she knew the value of hard work which makes her keep her dignity. Furthermore, when Mathilde saw her still charming friend again, I am sure she would choose to hide if she had not experienced from all these. Mathilde valued decency very much before these which can be drawn from her refusal to the party because the lack of jewel and her escaping at the end of the party to conceal her poverty. While after all these events, she did not value these superficial things anymore. She did not value appearance so much. Thus, can she walked towards to her friends and talked to her positively. Although she may be extremely sad about the fake necklace. In my point of view, it is worthwhile to get virtues at the cost of beauty. Above all, she can feel ‘very glad after the ten years’ hard work’.
Everyone has his/her own life. Some can enjoy their lives and achieve many valuable things while some may feel depressed about their lives. The qualities of lives vary from each other tremendously. The key is one’s attitude towards life. Facing life directly is always the best policy to own a positive life. In the The Necklace, because of being addicted to her colourful dream. There is no possibility for her to have a life with high quality without some stimulant. Then, the debt came which urged her to work. After ten years, we can see a new Mathilde who do not value appearance so much, do not dream all the time, do work to support the family and feel proud of herself more or less. That is how it works. Facing the life directly or there are too many difficulties which may become overwhelming in lives. I believe the quality of Mathilde’s life has improved a lot after all these events because she has learnt to face the life no matter how rough it may be. This should be the attitude of us towards the life. Thus can we make our lives full of shine and hope.
0570057
Jiamin Bao
June 21, 2007
Timed-writing three
Directions: In Dead Men’s Path the priest says “let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch.” Discuss what you think he means and what this saying reveals about him.
What the priest means is that all the things (including conception, belief, and practice and so on) own the equal right to exist in the society. Although hawk and eagle are two different species, both of them should own the right to perch. In Dead Men’s Path, after the conflict between cultures appears, the priest uses the saying to tell the principal that the practice of local citizen should also own the right to exist no matter how advanced the culture of the principal might be. “Let the hawk perch and let the eagle perch” .Therefore, let the local practice exist and let what you advocate exist. That is what the priest means.
The saying reveals that the priest is a wise, tolerant person who owns the indiscriminate love. Firstly, the priest is a wise man because of the profound meaning of the saying. He does not express his meaning directly which may cause the situation more intense. The saying alone can stand for what he means and make the principal to consider about his behavior. Secondly, the priest is a quite tolerant person according to the saying. In many cases, it is not easy for a person to accept the existence of the things which he does not agree or understand. In the history, we can find thousands of examples like this. Galileo was executed by the religion because of people’s not understanding of him. The name of list in this kind can be extremely long. Therefore, it is very precious for the priest to possess the precious inner quality, tolerance. Although he may not agree the conception of the principal, he can bear the principal’s action. The priest is also a person who owns the indiscriminate love. Because of the indiscriminate love towards the entire creature in the world, he can be so tolerant to accept the existence of so many things which he do not agree or understand. He owns the indiscriminate love. So there is no difference between hawk and eagle in his eye, both of them own the equal right to perch. The indiscriminate love makes him become tolerant and tranquil. Therefore, he can deal with problems at a higher view which is more fair and rational.
The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen by Bruno Lessing is a very interesting story. In the story, we can see the obvious change of both Shadrach and his sons. The author, Bruno Lessing, has described the story in a vivid and dramatic way. In the process of depicting the life of the Jewish family, he has focused on the description of the characters and their dialogues to reveal their inner qualities which are quite precious and impressive.
Belief
Jew is a very pious and civilized race. They are quite devout in Jesus. When the life “grows dark and life becomes earnest...we welcome the consolation"(50) which religion brings. The religious belief has contributed a lot to the survival of Jews after several catastrophes which contained terrible slaughter. Under the guide of a belief where there exists an eternal and fair God who takes charge of everything, human being become humble and ration, rather than greedy and willful. Therefore, people won't feel pride and insufferably arrogant when they remember the existence of God. God has playing a quite important role. He gives relief and hope to the adherents when they are in hard situation and supervises them to make them far from evil and crime. Therefore, Jew always holds hope even in extremely terrible circumstance, rather than being desperate. They remain hardy and become successful after so many calamities. Belief is such a strong motivation which can support us to endure hard situation.
Wisdom
In the story, wisdom, as a shining star, gives me the deepest impression. Shadrach has changed the attitudes of his sons with showing his wisdom. The life without wisdom will be a dim one. Under any circumstances, wisdom is a powerful weapon which will prevent us from being harmed. It directs us how to react in hard occasion and how to choose in the junction in our lives. Therefore, can Shadrach change his sons' behavior and mind. America is such a bourgeois society. Obviously, Shadrach can not change his position in his sons' lives without the success in business. As to Shadrach’ sons, it is very sad that their precious belief and love towards the parents have to be reappear in this way. Meanwhile, the cold fact also reminds us the importance of wisdom which should be our best companion in our lives.
Love
According to Confucius' opinion, the love from our parents is the most altruistic one which we should cherish. I am for the idea strongly. In China, parents give most unselfish care to their offspring and they will build a calm bay for their children to stay when they feel hurt any time in their lives. Therefore, we should love our parents eternally without consideration of their own abilities. Loving parents is not only a practice but also a virtue for Chinese race. Although the new generation has been influenced by other cultures gradually nowadays, we still should keep the morality to give our love to parents in return.
All in all, Bruno Lessing has offered a meaningful story with an aftertaste to me. I have thought a lot through the story which may be immature, but very sincere.
Bruno Lessing. “The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen.” 1903. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction. Ruth Spack. New York: St. Martin’s, 1994.6-8